Tuesday, May 16, 2006

There is no justice


Just when you think there might be such a thing as hope -- just when you think that sometimes the little guy can topple the big guy every once in a while -- something happens that makes you realize life is all about getting kicked in the balls and laughed at by the big guy while he watches you writhe around on the ground in pain.

OK, that's overstating it more than a little bit, considering what prompted me to write this. But as a baseball fan I'm so goddamn sick of the New York Yankees I can barely see straight.

Tonight, the Yankees were tailing the Texas Rangers 10-2 at one point. Yes, of course, I know the Rangers pitching staff is notoriously pathetic. And so it was that you could have easily predicted what was to come. The Yankees made a comeback and Jorge Posada blistered a two-run homer over the right field fence in the bottom of the ninth to give New York a 14-13 victory.

I'm so sick of the Yankees. I'm so sick of their limitless payroll and the way they go out and buy whoever they need -- often getting the team they rape in the deal to agree to keep paying a good chunk of the salary of whatever rent-a-player they pilfer. I'm sick of their YES Network and the ungodly smug Michael Kay ... the other day I listened to him bitching about how some team the Yankees were visiting set off a bunch of fireworks before the game and it made the stadium smoky. And he kept whining about it and said, "the Yankees drew four million fans last year and they didn't have to set off fireworks." Well, you know Michael, maybe if every other team in baseball could afford to field an all-star at almost every position nobody would ever have to put on any promotions of any kind. But until that day comes, the rest of the groveling little peasant teams still have to figure out some ways to put asses in the seats. So, we're sorry if we annoy you with our circus-geek freakshow routine. Why don't you leave the peon teams alone and go buy a few more all-stars?

It's getting to be that time of the season that the Yankees start giving serious thought to their next player personnel conquest. I mean, you've got Hideki Matsui on the DL until at least August. Gary Sheffield is supposed to be back in the lineup soon, but he's been hurt. Randy Johnson is looking every bit of 42 years old, finally. They were so proud of themselves for getting Carl Pavano last year and they threw a bunch of money at him on the basis of one good season, and he's done just about nothing for them. So, while there may truly be no justice, Yankee haters can take a certain sense of satisfaction from the fact in spite of all their vast resources and continued acquisitions over the last few years, it all seems to have been for naught. They still haven't won the World Series since 2000. They lost to the freakin' Diamondbacks and Marlins. The Marlins! Of course, it should be quickly pointed out that the Marlins won their two World Series by demonstrating every bit of the championship-by-cash arrogance that makes the Yankees so incredibly distasteful. I guess we should be thankful for such poignant irony.

There's a long way to go in this season and the Yankees are easily playing in the toughest division in baseball. The Red Sox aren't going anywhere, and if A.J. Burnett can get healthy, the Blue Jays might have something to say. But it's only a matter of time before the Yankees buy themselves an outfielder to take Matsui's spot in the lineup. As miserable as my beloved, star-crossed Pirates are, I'm halfway hoping the Yankees talk them into giving up Jason Bay -- which would be just enough to put Pittsburgh out of its misery. It would be a mercy killing. And perhaps that might just be baseball's cruel way of delivering a little justice after all.

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